Apparently my cat has a substance abuse problem but before I tell that sad tale, here are the answers to the quiz on my previous post – The League of Vile though Witty Literary Reviewers.
- “Each adventure is tedious, repititious and inane… and there’s over 500 pages of it.” Don Quixote
- “But let’s be honest: It’s as fun as reading the telephone book.” Ulysses by James Joyce
- “I ended up throwing this book away after reading about 5 chapters. If you enjoy reading pedophilic ramblings of a perv, go for it! Yuk!” Lolita
- “This book in my opinion should get the “Turkey of the Century” award. A big book B-B-Q should be devoted to all the copies in print.” Huckleberry Finn
- So if you see *** at your neighbor’s garage sale, go ahead and buy it, hallow it out and put a handgun in it. Or leave it next to your toilet if you have unwanted guests. Beat your disobedient child with it. Put it in your fireplace and have a nice glass of vodka. Just don’t read it. You have been warned.” Anna Karenina
On to tragic case of Das Kat. In order to alleviate kitty’s hairball problem, hubby bought enough kitty grass and catnip to fill a three foot by three foot planter, not realizing, of course, that we had a cat with a problem. In his defense, kitty was a stray we adopted. For all we know, he could be the great grandcat of the infamous Vlad Kat, cat “mule” for Russia’s most notorious drug cartel. Thus, he might not be able to control his addiction.
Anyway, the cat nip plant lasted three minutes.
Stoned kitty then took off skidding down the floor, leaping on the furniture and bouncing off the walls. When scolded with a “Bad Kitty,” off he ran to attack any toy stuffed with cat nip, snapping the heads off two, a lovely yellow parakeet and goofy looking thing we call Mr. Mole.
In attempt to help him control his addiction, hubby came up with an idea: cover the planter with an old plastic clothes hamper.
This contraption allowed kitty only little nibbles of grass though the slats. Did I mention that hubby considers himself an efficiency expert?
However, approximately one o’clock in the morning we awoke to a loud crash and the skittle of claws across the wood floor. Kitty had figured out how to tip the whole dang thing over.
I’m afraid it’s cold turkey for Das Kat!
I just sent my third book off to the editor so I guess I can be forgiven for a little silliness, can’t I?