Remember that wonderful feeling after you’ve taken your last final and written your last paper and suddenly found yourself without any deadlines? It’s like being weightless. Shoved from the mothership without the tether of responsibility, nothing to hold onto, drifting into space but exhilarated, light as air, free.
Well, the feeling lasts about two seconds. Then you start to feel lost, rudderless and without a cause. That’s me today. After a seemingly endless round of edits on a currently unnamed WIP, I’m done. But am I really? Maybe the book wasn’t really ready and I pushed it out the door too fast? Maybe I missed some hideously embarrassing typo, some absolutely horrid bit of writing that will sink my already paralyzed and gasping-on-its-last-breath career.
Luckily I’m not a perfectionist. I do have a switch in my brain that says Move On. Somewhere in the cob-webbed jungle of my mind past the tigers and hyenas and beneath the ravings of the Night Hags. I just have to find it.
On a separate though equal topic, I just reviewed my friend Duke’s guidebook for the hopeless in which he rifts about transmuting reality with virtual life, a problem he’s begun to encounter as his work gets into the hands of more and more admirers all with their own stories to tell. He doesn’t know if the stories he hears are real or something they’ve concocted for attention and fluctuates between an obsession with knowing the reality and trying to convince himself that it doesn’t really matter.
When I first entered the virtual world (which is a requirement for all emerging writers) I was told by the marketing folks that it didn’t matter if my “brand” was the real me – I just had to come up with some kind of gimmick that would get me noticed. I interpreted this to mean that gradually I would lose myself and become this other thing. Cat Butt in Face Woman or whatever.
Two years later and I still haven’t found my brand (probably because of a fear of transmuting) which brings to mind this quote from Olive Kitteridge, a movie I watched the other night.
“I’m going to call you later to see if your heart’s still ticking. You are in the book?”
My answer would be no, I am not in the book yet.
Next, my lovelies, in support of aforementioned WIP, I begin blogging about something I know you’ll all find absolutely fascinating! The Tax Code. Does anyone know what the term “Willful Avoidance” refers to? If you live in the US, not knowing what that term means could land you in deep doo-doo with the taxman.