Queen Helen of Wingate

Queen

The official portrait of King Harland and Queen Helen of the Kingdom of Wingate

My grandmother was a no-nonsense New Englander whose mother passed away when she was a teen, leaving her alone with a gruff Swedish father who didn’t believe in doling out compliments.  She wore coke bottle glasses, had an overbite, and couldn’t tolerate a change in her schedule. Married barely out of nursing school, she worked through the Great Depression as “The District Nurse” for the county and raised three, shall we say, spirited children.

unclebob

Arguably her most spirited child, my rambunctious Uncle Bob.

To the grandmother I remember, being plain and modest was far better than being pretty. Vanity was a sin.  Flowers and candy on Valentine’s Day were a waste of money.  And anyone trying to give her a compliment – oh my goodness – she’d sink them with an icy stare  Yes, siree bob!  There’d be none of that Tom Foolery on her watch.QueenHelen

The woman above is not my grandmother!  Giggling and holding hands with a man who is not her husband – even if he is the king! Not my Gram!KingHarlan

Now this is my grandmother – fixing to tell someone off. (I’ve seen this look many times!) You think King Harland dared to cop a feel?

News

Their coronation makes headlines worldwide!

Even though she spent her life feeling plain and unattractive, she wasn’t.  As you can see, the good citizens of the Kingdom of Wingate acknowledged her dignity, strength and beauty by crowning her their queen!

May you be recognized for the unique and special person that you are!

Cameillias

A thing of beauty is a joy forever,
Its loveliness increases, it will never
Pass into nothingness; but will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.

John Keats, From Endymion 

 

When does it make sense to give away books?

FrostyLast week I participated in a book giveaway that made me more nervous than Frosty the Snowman during a heat wave. The only thing worse than asking people to buy your book is begging them to take it for free.  Argh.

Here is one theory behind a giveaway: If hundreds of people download your book it will rise in the Amazon rankings.  You could be a Best Seller! (Even if only for a day or sometimes, a hour)

You see the irony, don’t you?  A best seller on Amazon could be aBestSeller book that sold no copies.  But that’s okay because marketeers believe people impulsively buy anything that’s on a best seller list.  Or anything having ninety 5 star reviews.

And, I hate to admit it, they’re right. I’ve done it myself.

Several months ago we hired Thor the Handyman for home repairs that Joel the CouchSitter put off because he has to do his Sudoko (and besides he’s “old now”).  We hired Thor solely because he had 15 five star reviews.  Folks, that easily puts him on the Handyman Best Seller List.  Heck, it’s amazing he didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize for Handy Dandyship!  (Don’t tell me there’s no such prize because I happen to know that a good handyman has prevented many a war between spouses!)Thor

Thor showed up on time and did our test project well enough that we gave him a tip and asked him back.  On the appointed day, at the appointed hour, he was a no show.  After waiting a couple of hours we tried calling him.  His mailbox was full.  A few days later he called us. He’d been in an accident; he was so sorry, etc. We made another appointment.  Guess what happened?  Another no show. What’s with all his 5 star reviews, I thought. He can’t be handing out free labor. Needless to say, we found another handyman – this time a 4.5 guy.  So far, so good.

FiveStarThe best seller theory could backfire in other ways.  Say, someone buys your book because it’s a best seller and one reviewer (your Dad) wrote that it was the best book since Gone with the Wind.  The problem is your book is more like Fifty Shades of Grey.  The buyer not only feels misled but they also feel betrayed.  And guess who they’ll take their anger out on once it’s time to write a review?  Your poor book.

This theory on giveaways probably makes more sense.  A reader downloads one of your books for free and loves it so much, he will actually pay for another. This is more likely to happen, I think, if you’re writing a series and the reader has fallen in love with your characters and wants to follow their adventures. However, if your second and third book introduce different worlds and different characters, they may be disappointed. And what do they do when they’re disappointed?  Write a bad review. Either way, it’s a gamble.

Do you follow writers because you love the characters they create? Or, is the writing more important to you?

BTW:  Thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you who accepted my gift. Last week I gave away about 700 ebooks.  The book most downloaded was The Graduation Present, which is set in Europe in the 1970s.   Flipka, a wacky mystery set in Nevada, was second, and Willful Avoidance third.  I was right.  No one wants to read about taxes!  

Playing For Free

The song currently haunting me is Joni Mitchell’s Real Good for Free.

A famous singer, on her way to a sold-out venue, notices a clarinetist alone on the corner.  She rolls down the window and listens. Damn, he’s playing real good, she thinks as people ignore him. They haven’t seen him on television. He doesn’t have a “name.” So, to them what he’s giving away has no value.

No one knows why some people reach the top while others never get past the bottom rung. Marketeers and motivational speakers will tell you – for a fee – that they know the answer.  But there is no one answer.  Like the tide, popular trends change with the moon. SurferWriters and artists surf on fickle seas. They may catch a wave and be able to ride it for a long, long time, or stand up briefly only to be tossed back into the sea. Or, as is the case for most of us, spend their lives on longboards watching the sun set on yet another waveless day.

Next week (Nov 8 – 14) my publisher has decided to kick off the holidays by giving away selected books, including mine. The idea is to make their own waves.

PROMO2

Dates are wrong above. Actual dates are November 9-14

Book giveaways I’ve been assured are quite common (even amongst the big name publishers) but I have to admit I’m scared. You know the feeling you have when planning a party and wondering if anyone will come? That’s the way I feel today.

Here are the Amazon links: Flipka, The Graduation Present and Willful Avoidance.  Grab a copy of one or all on me!