A Brief Peek

JT Twissel 15 Comments

We had a brief peek of Spring last week, two days with temperatures in the seventies and so I spent all day outside mostly scrubbing mold off outdoor furniture and the deck. Still outside.

But alas, a peek is all we got and then the fog bank moved in. And it became glum. And yesterday sirens blasted for a good half hour as helicopters circled the skies. Google maps reported that the nearby highway had been closed because of multi-car accidents. But the news stations were fixated on Trump farting or Trump nodding off or Trump having a temper tantrum. Frankly, my dear, I could give a s**t. I wonder if all that Trump news caused the drivers on Highway 24 to lose their minds and play bumper cars!

The blooms, so hungry for sun, weep to see its departure.

No painter could ever touch the artistry of nature. Although I am tempted to try. If only the sun would come back. Among my other faults, I can only paint in natural light.

The last time I posted was April 13th – 10 days ago. Besides scrubbing the mold off decks, I’ve been pulling together two stories that … after a lifetime, sigh … I’ve realized are the same story. Which necessitated ignoring Yee Olde Blogge. During the time I’ve been gone, these are the posts that someone (God knows who or why has been reading or at least viewing):

It’s always interesting to see which posts land in the “Top Posts” slot when I’ve been away for a while. It always makes me wonder. How about you?

It sure gets old

JT Twissel 34 Comments

I confess that I don’t often wear garden gloves while weeding, which means my fingernails are a fright and I have to be leery of plants whose sap, once on your skin, has to be removed with turpentine. But garden gloves get smelly and have to be washed and hung on the line where often I forget about them for days. Then the sun comes out and I forget about them again and they shrink.

Sometimes I’ll get a thorn in one of my fingers and I vow to remove all roses from the garden.

Except perhaps the climbing roses. They have no thorns.

The fox squirrel hears the door open and springs into action.

“You don’t really think you’re getting out the door without giving me a peanut!”

As I sit in my chair by the window contemplating the mundane on a soggy day, so far away bombs are falling. Who knows what it will lead to. If we’re lucky, some bluster-fluster saber rattling although … it sure gets old. It sure gets old.

A few days ago a woman who’d just graduated from law school wore a hijab to a party honoring her and others at the Dean’s house. There she whipped out a portable bullhorn and proceeded to lecture the attendees on the genocide the university is supporting in Gaza. The Dean and his wife are Jewish, as she well knew. Horror upon horror, they asked her to leave. Horror upon horror, they touched her sacred hijab on the holiest of Muslim holidays when she refused to leave. Now, of course, she’s suing. It sure gets old.

How to preserve a husband

JT Twissel 19 Comments

The other day a blogger whose posts are always entertaining, Ally Bean at The Speckled Bean, wrote about glimpsing into a cookbook from the 1980s. Her post reminded me of my mother-in-law’s cookbooks which were published by the Relief Society (Mormon’s ladies charity) and so contained recipes meant to serve large families on the cheap. I couldn’t find those gems. But I did find this one:

It’s hard to tell when it was “published” or by whom. There’s no information on the front or back cover and no title page. However, based on this sage bit of advice, I would say no later than the 1960s.

Good news, Ladies! if your spouse is one of the poorer varieties, don’t despair! A bit of patience is all you need.

These cookbooks may seem quaint by today’s standards, but I’m sure the women who contributed the recipes and helped type up and illustrate the book were proud of their accomplishment. Proud to sell those books and donate the proceeds to charity. However, reading through them I had the eerie feeling that many were the result of trial and error and that many children suffered.

Have any of you ever tasted Ginger Ale Salad? It sounded okay until the stuffed olives. Well, I don’t know about the celery and banana combo but then I’m a notoriously picky eater.

Ever wonder what to do with an old can of tomato soup? Well, make a cake of course. Ingenious? What do you think?

The following recipe was a bit of a surprise. Delores Cook must have been a woman ahead her time. I might even give this one a try.

Sounds like a recipe for liver apple pie, doesn’t it! Just put some ice cream on top and yumm!

Another surprise! Who would have guessed that liver, applesauce, and cinnamon can be tasty together? Sadly, I don’t eat liver but if any of y’all want to give this dish a try, let me know how it goes. I’m dying to hear!

Taxes and Seppuku during the Solar Eclipse

JT Twissel 16 Comments

Friday, April 6th: Today I meant to start on the taxes. It was too cold to go outside and I had several episodes of the mini-series Shogun taped to remind myself that, as bad as taxes can be, at least I’m not a woman in medieval Japan.

“Please allow me to chop off my head so that I can join my noble father who committed seppuku for sneezing too loudly in front of Lord Ishimoto. I cannot live with the dishonor he has brought upon the family.”

I can still remember the first time I read Shogun. I couldn’t get to sleep. How could such a society have ever existed? So far, I’ve only seen the first couple of episodes of the televised version but … I don’t know. It seems a bit watered down. Poor old Mariko-sana. Will she be able to escape that icky husband and get it on with John Blackthorn? Especially now that the smelly barbarian has decided bathing isn’t such a bad thing?

Speaking of water … Friday it hailed!

Monday, April 8th: What a mistake it was to do taxes on the Solar Eclipse of the Sun Day. Something must be wrong. Solar flare? Moon fart? I’ll have to try again tomorrow! Wish me luck or I’ll be joining Mariko-sana in pleading for a quick death (which, by the way, does not get you off the hook with the IRS!)

My third book was based on a fourteen year battle with the Taxman. Fourteen years and more paperwork then you can ever imagine! It’s out of print now and will probably remain that way. I don’t know if I can rehash those painful years again. I’d much rather dabble in fantasy.

Turtle update

JT Twissel 18 Comments

Today was another lovely day and I needed to get away from the house. Luckily a couple of friends felt the same way and we went to check out the turtle population at Cascade Lake. And guess what?

There was a baby turtle swimming near the limb where the adult turtles’ like to sunbathe. We were at a distance so this was the best shot I could get with my iPhone camera.

To the right are about seven large fish – we guessed they might be catfish.

Are you kidding?

JT Twissel 8 Comments
Greeting the sun…
Aren’t I pretty?
Dainty and sweet …

Are you kidding?
The first day of April and I’m walking around barefoot.
But not for long.

I hope today the trickster plays only pleasant tricks on you and the only fools are on a hill somewhere charming snakes or what the heck they do.

Liz’s favorite door #ThursdayDoors

JT Twissel 13 Comments

One day not long ago, my friend Liz invited me to go on a walk with her to see “the houses that are falling down.” Who could resist such an invitation? Especially since we’ve had very few sunny days lately.

The falling down houses are in the oldest and most exclusive part of town, near a man made lake with no beaches, no swimming and no fishing. Just one lonely turtle that Liz has made friends with. The pond is next to a a country club that has not modernized in 100 years and admits only legacy clients (the descendants of the charter members). Still it’s not pleasant to see even rich people’s homes teetering on the sides of saturated hills. I couldn’t bring myself to take pictures.

Liz’s favorite door belongs to a Spanish style home much closer to downtown than the falling down houses. This door is actually a gate. The property is surrounded by a high adobe wall and it’s right on a busy street so this is the only picture I was able to get (I was actually standing in the street, dodging speeding luxury cars – ah, the lengths we go to to get our ThursdayDoors!). I tried to find out more of the history of the place but couldn’t. I can only imagine.

News Flash from Liz!!! Mr. Turtle has a buddy!

Check out other doors at Dan’s place.

Some things should not be political

JT Twissel 26 Comments

Like so many people, I’ve given up trying to understand the MAGA movement. Apparently DT is still the president and Biden is a puppet being controlled by Obama who lives in the basement of the White House with his gay lover, Micheal. And if you don’t believe that’s the truth than you lack critical thinking skills and have been brainwashed by the Jesus-hating, baby-killing woke leftist Satanist Democrats. Okay.

From the SF Chronicle – Joel Pett

A few days ago I watched the 2016 movie “Denial” which was about a libel trial in England. A writer, who’d made a name for himself by becoming a prominent Holocaust denier, sued a Holocaust scholar for calling him a liar. In England the burden of proof in a libel case is on the defendant and so the scholar’s legal team had to prove that the gas chambers did exist and that the Nazis knew exactly what they were doing. Further, they had to prove that the writer knew he was spreading false claims but did so for personal gain.

It’s an excellent movie with a message pertinent to today. Too many politicians are saying things they know to be false for personal gain. For example, today a GOP congresswoman claimed the US House of Representatives passed a budget bill funding “pre-birth abortions.” Does she really believe that a doctor will murder a newborn baby simply because the mother asks him to?

I wish the AMA would sue the idiot but I doubt that will happen.

I’ve been fortunate to have known many survivors of the Holocaust. Many were children who lost their entire families. Many came to this country to stay with a relative they hardly knew. Some became conservative Republicans and others become liberal Democrats. But they are all disappearing. Few remain to be doubted and threatened by the deniers. Few remain to defend their truth.

The Holocaust was never a political issue but the MAGAs are the party of DENIAL. They deny the 2020 election results, they deny the insurrection happened or that it was provoked by DT. They deny climate change even though most of them live in states that are frequently impacted by that change. They deny that vaccines work. They deny that a world wide pandemic happened. Perhaps cruelest of all, they deny that Jesus Christ was the son of penniless and probably dirty refugees. I don’t know where the heck they think he came from. Probably some golden palace DT built in a former life.

I’ve got a long way to go

JT Twissel 24 Comments

I’ve been getting prepaid cremation offers since I was in my early forties. At that time I had no extra money sitting around with which to secure the “peace of mind” of knowing that my “remains would not be a burden” to my loved ones. However, had I been truly budget conscious I would have skimped and saved and grabbed up one of those suckers. Cremation costs have quadrupled since the 1990s. I could have locked in a $700 no frills trip to the crematorium!

Mourning Doves in a dying smoke tree.

But, is it really a good idea to prepay for cremation services decades before the main event? Sure, someone will save a bundle but it won’t be you! Besides, who’s to say there won’t be a newer more efficient method of body vaporization by the time you kick the buckle?

Imagine this scenario:

May 5, 2030

Funeral Director to the daughter of the deceased: Sorry for your loss, Bridey

Bridey: Well, she was one hundred and thirty years old. Thank goodness she prepaid for her cremation. Otherwise I don’t know how we’d —“

Funeral Director: Thank you for bringing in the original receipt. Heavens! It’s been decades since we dealt in paper.

Bridey: Mother never did trust the “internets” as she called them.

FD: I’m sure you realize that bio-disposal technology has greatly evolved since the 1990s. A process that used to take several hours, and meant you had to wait at least day for the processed remains of your loved one, now takes mere seconds! That means you could walk out of here with your mother’s ashes in less than an hour! Of course —

Bridey: You want more money.

FD: Nitey Time Mortuaries will stand by our original commitment but we phased out our old equipment years ago and so, if you choose not to upgrade, we will have to transport your mother’s remains to Reno Auto Wrecking for processing.

Bridey: Reno Auto Wrecking?

FD: Yes, they bought the old machines for parts but I believe they still have one intact crematorium which they use for … well you probably don’t want to know. Didn’t your mother once worked there?

Bridey: Yes she was their bookkeeper but —

FD: I’m sure they’d treat her remains with dignity and respect. However, we are prepared to give you a huge discount on our newer services because she was one of our legacy customers….”

Bridey: Yeah, I bet you are.

Despite my snark, the few times I’ve dealt with funeral directors they’ve been wonderful. But knowing my kids, they’ll have my remains composted into a cubic foot of nutrient rich soil for a quick and dirty green burial. It’s fine with me I just don’t wanna to know the process! I’m sure it involves all sorts of creepy crawlies. I mean, it must, right? If I understand the composting process, my body will basically become a cubic foot of worm poop. Well, who knows? I may have started out that way.

Now onto those daily offers to learn the “humorous, inspiring and practical” side of downsizing for my ultimate transition to the Life Plan Community of HumanGood. I can’t imagine anything humorous about throwing out grandma’s treasures. Obviously I’ve got a long way to go.