Today would have been my father’s 100th birthday. While many people would have been happy to have reached that milestone, my father would have been miserable. He was a very active man.
My early memories of him were brutal. He could not tolerate weakness. Illness was a weakness. Bad vision was a weakness. Even breaking a bone was some kind of a weakness. And you never admitted you were in pain, or sick, or depressed. To do so was weakness.
He was a hunter who expected his family to eat the animals he’d shot and hung to bleed out in the garage.
I went to bed hungry many nights.
When we went backpacking in the wilderness we always pitched camp near a stream where we were expected to fish for our dinner.
To this day, I hate fish.
But, because of his refusal to buy a boob tube when I was a child, I know a decent amount about classical music and, if given the title of a show tune, I can tell you which Broadway musical it’s from. And I adore books. I probably own over a thousand.
I wouldn’t want to relive my childhood but he raised us the way he was raised. In fact, I suspect his life was far tougher. Anyway, I’ll miss calling him today.
Saying nothing in particular 
What an interesting story to say the least. Thanks fir sharing.
Compared to what many people been through growing up I really have nothing to complain about.
I am sorry for your your loss for all he was your dad and you have turned out well ..hugs 💜💜
Thank you!
The highs and lows here are remarkable. Thank you for the depth. I’m sorry you can’t call him this year. ❤
Thanks Joey. Me too.
Reblogged this on glynhockey.
I guess we all tend to judge our parents, as we ourselves will be judged by our parents.
Yes we do. Thanks for the reblog. I hope your year’s gotten off to a great start!
Thank you for sharing. It’s tough to lose a parent, and I think we look back over time and we can peel back the prism of a child’s view. I’m sorry for your loss. May he Rest In Peace. I was saddened to read about Channing yesterday, too.🙁
Yes, she was of course a San Francisco favorite.
Such a lovely tribute to your Dad. Sending you hugs, and hope this journey down the memory lane has provided some comfort.
Thank you Damyanti!
I’m sorry you can’t make the call. We never fully understand why people are/were the way they are. We take the good with the bad and make something. You seem to have made something better,
Thanks Dan.
Like your father, mine was filled with complex conservative contradictions. I wouldn’t have gone to the 60th birthday party either, but can understand why you miss calling him on his birthday. People are complicated, as are our feelings about them.
I think the schism in the Republican party, that now looks like the Grand Canyon, actually started back in the late sixties.
Astute observation. It’s the Grand Canyon now, for sure.
A day of many mixed emotions for you, Jan. Yet you expressed it in a lovely way. Wishing you a peaceful night. Hugs on the wing.
Thank you Teagan. I’m hoping to get time to catch up on your story soon. Been a bit busy!
Oh, the complexities of life. We’re all a mix of how we’re raised and by our experiences throughout life—likewise our parents. Thus, no matter what happens, they’re always a part of us. Wished you could still make that call, Jan.
Me too but at least I thought of him today. Hope he can feel that wherever he is.
Men of a certain generation, place, & time really seem clueless when it came to their female offspring in particular. Thanks for posting this Jan – you captured all sides of him as well as your feelings.
This is an utterly fascinating story!
Your Dad sounds like quite the man + I loved how you honestly talked of him in a very respectful way. Since I have a cowboy friend I loved the picture of him with his horses + can appreciate his respect for Native American culture. Being from Michigan you must be a fan of the Great Lakes + well aware of snow. I grew up in snow country in upstate New York near Lake Ontario + often miss those amazing lakes.
Thx for posting! 🙂
Thank you Perry! I lived in Michigan as a young child and then moved to Reno Nevada. It was quite a change and I missed mostly the black-eyed Susans.
Your Dad sounds like quite a character, Jan.
Thanks Jean. He had his quirks but was a quiet man.
It’s so difficult to find places of forgiveness and understanding towards a difficult father. I know…I had one as well. However, I envy the fact that you miss calling him on his birthday. While I have forgiven my father and continue to grow to understand him, I must admit I’m relieved to not have to call him on his birthday, during the holidays or on Father’s Day. Along with the forgiveness, this brings me peace.
I feel that way about my step-mother. So I understand.
So sorry you cannot talk to your father on his birthday any more. I don’t know what your conversations have looked like, but you are sure missing them.
We generally talked about books. He would read anything. Towards the end he began distancing himself from the Republican party. Now he wouldn’t recognize it!
Your post made me think about my dad all day today. He died in 1985. I still miss him. Sending hugs xx
Interesting!
I get you. My dad hunted & fished. I could never eat the poor things either. I’ve been a vegetarian since 17.
It’s a testament to parental respect and love that you’ll miss calling him.
Despite some painful memories, he did give me a love for classical music, Broadway musicals and literature. We would always buy each other a book for special occasions.
Nice!