For about four years I volunteered as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for the Juvenile Court Judges of Northern California. CASA candidates are rigorously screened and must complete at least forty hours of training (psychological, legal, sociological, medical and educational) before being sworn in. A CASA is required to:
- Gain the confidence of the child assigned to them
- Interview the child’s social worker, therapist, educational advisor, doctor, etc.
- File a monthly report with the judge who was the child’s legal guardian
- Attend all court sessions having to do with the child’s welfare as well as accompanying the child to a quarterly review of their case.
CASAs are only assigned to at-risk foster children. During the years I spent as a CASA there weren’t nearly enough of us to make a dent in the demand.
Sean was in charge of all the CASA volunteers. Sean assigned available CASAs to children in need and made sure they had all the resources they needed. (There are all kinds of programs at a low cost or free to foster children as well as discount tickets to museums, theaters and parks.) Sean presented as a tall young man who wasn’t overly athletic but could probably outlast most people in an endurance contest. Sean’s sandy hair was cut short and Sean’s face was smooth with just a bit of baby fat. No stubble or five o’clock shadow. Sean always wore grey or tan slacks with a belt, cotton button down shirts (the type they used to sell at JC Penney’s) and brown hush puppies. Sean always reminded me of Donny Osmond. The young Donny Osmond.
You can probably guess where this is heading. After I found out that Sean had been a Melinda and that her/his first CASA child had been a female ( female foster children could only be assigned to a female CASAs) I badly wanted to ask “Do you prefer to be called him or her? Or even them?” because I’d rather die than in any way hurt or insult such a wonderful young person. But that was almost twenty years ago and I was raised to mind my own business. We can’t go back to those days of being afraid to ask, folks. Reject all the transphobia going on … it’s sheer insanity.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. Judy Garland.
Saying nothing in particular 
People should be allowed to determine figure out their own gender, which may or may not align with the sex they were assigned at birth, as they would know best who they are.
The anti forces claim that God made you either female or male and you should stay that way – which is ridiculous because – if you believe in God – he/she/it made you just the way you are! Now I sound like Mr. Rogers.
My boyfriend was a CASA for several years; it’s such an important job, yet also stressful and time-consuming. I had a number of transgender students and learned a lot along the way. We can’t know what we haven’t yet learned, if that makes any sense.
Good for your boyfriend – I only made it four years. It’s more than a full time job; it really is. It’s hard to believe that everyone hasn’t at one time or another known a person who was more comfortable acting more like a boy or more like a girl! The trans folk are brave enough to act on that feeling. Having every day contact with someone going thru the process is an eye opener which I think is what you meant.
Life is hard enough. I refuse to make it harder for anyone.
Love. Accept. It’s not that difficult…
You make an excellent point! Refuse to make life harder for someone else even though they may be different. I don’t understand people who claim to be Christian and then don’t understand that love and acceptance often means going out of your comfort zone.
I’ve met very few true Christian’s in my life. Most of them talk the talk but don’t walk the walk….
So true!
Duality, in text and image. Nice.
For your contribution to society, I salute you, Ma’am.
The painting is by Tres Miller (Duke’s wife). I think it captures the sometimes a red deer is actually a blue deer but we’re all one feeling.
Transphobia makes no sense to pragmatic me. I want people to feel good about themselves so they may do their best. You know thrive and prosper. I don’t get how this is a threat.
You are absolutely right. There’s no way you’re going to do your best if you’re not comfortable in your own skin.
We need more people to do what you do!
We definitely need more people willing to step up. CASA is really tough and the people who’ve been successful (I was not) are saints. There are so many roadblocks that I could probably expound upon them forever! Transphobia should not be one of them.
Thank you for volunteering your time and emotional energy to a worthy, though I am sure difficult and sad at times cause.
I love the Judy Garland quote, is it the people who hurt the most who offer the most profound and simple advice?
Jane
I think she knew how hard it is to pretend to be something you’re not.
”Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” John 8:7”
also translates to me as judge not lest you be judged.
But what is the sin?
Hurray for the Seans and CASAs… I bow to you…
I wish I’d been able to do more but it’s really more than a twenty-four hour job and you end up having to deal with a lot of legal bullshit. But thank you.
I always find volunteers so admirable… Compliments…
A great post, Jan. Life is hard enough for people who don’t fit the average mould without adding persecution and judgement.
Here in the US a lot of MAGA folks are trying to claim that people who want to change their sex – or just how they identify and present themselves to the world are pedophiles which is ridiculous and statistically untrue. Not to mention the worst type of bullying imaginable. Our own president is a convicted sex offender!
I didn’t know this. It’s just another form of abuse towards people who don’t fit the standard mould. Quite horrible ❤️🩹
It’s difficult to watch and understand how, in some parts of the world, being against people who live their lives differently from how we live ours is going backwards. Being who we are when we are born is something we should always be comfortable with. We should never live our lives how others want us to. But if we want to change our life and who we are, it shouldn’t become a problem for anyone else.
I agree. At this point it’s becoming clear that our GOP leaders are merely trying to deflect from their agenda in the most cruel ways possible. Cruelty has become the point.
I agree. I dread the 2029 general election in the UK, as we could have somebody like you currently have running our country. I’m hoping the results of your election in 2028 will put an end to that.
Your tiny voice speaks loudly Jan.
I have been in similar situations. That was then though. Now, we have come further.
Several months ago when I voted, a woman was in charge of thanking , voters, as she guided us on the way out. The name on the tag was unisex, which I espied as I thanked her. HIM, she said. We both smiled.
Congratulations for the time you spent as a CASA volunteer. You have my respects.
Cheers!
Good for him! 😍
Agree! ❦🌟