The other day I was sitting in a women’s clinic waiting for my annual pap smear and mammogram when I looked up and saw a sign on the wall that read: Tweet your Kaiser experience

thReally?  Around me sat women of all ages, some with male companions, some alone.  None of them looked particularly happy.  Let’s face it.  Unless you’re at a woman’s clinic for pre-natal care, the purpose of your visit is not something you’d write home about let alone tweet to twenty thousand strangers. Does the hospital really want to get the following tweets? What do you think?


Filling out the same old paperwork yet again.  Don’t u have computers? #getaclue #kaiser

Question: Date of last period. I write: Sometime in the last century. #CheckTheDateOfBirthSilly #kaiser

“Get on the scale,” nurse orders. Me: “But I’ve worn the same pants for 15 yrs.” #PatheticButTrue #kaiser

Nurse: “Don’t you want to know what you weigh?” #AreNursesInsane? #kaiser

LNP: “You’re the fourth Jan I’ve seen today and only one of them was under 55.”  #AllJansAreOld? #kaiser

During exam LNP says “Irregular moles.” Me: “In my…?”   LNP: “Yes.”  #OfAllPlaces! #kaiser

Dermatologist happens to be nearby.  I ask “What happens if the moles are…” “We’ll freeze, cut or burn.”  #OMG!

Dermatologist: “False alarm.” LNP: “You look pale.”  #duh #kaiserhospital


You look pale. We’d better take some blood!

Down to the lab for blood work (cuz I look pale) w/mid-day’s assortment of fasting & cranky older people waiting to bleed, pee or…   #cattlecall

A starving, blurry-eyed man who can’t quite keep his pants up sits next to me. #HospitalFashionDisasters


Aside from tweeting, here are other ways to entertain yourself in a hospital waiting room.   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5SJHVC3dNw

A great post on waiting in the hospital: http://www.kaarinadillabough.com/i-learned-from-hours-hospital-waiting-room

By the way, I love Kaiser Hospital.  I really do but not when I’m in the stirrups.

Images from Bing.com