Today is my birthday and the plan was to be in Ireland. I’m not sure where exactly although the county of Connemara was high on the list. If not for the pandemic, I’d be on a cliff overlooking the Atlantic Ocean, the one my ancestors faced hundreds of years ago. Tomorrow we face that grey abyss, that swallower of ships … battered and seasick to finally land where the mighty river narrows, Quebec.
I was born on a Friday afternoon in a small town in the middle of Massachusetts. If it wasn’t for the recklessness of motor vehicle drivers I probably would have been born in Springfield which is closer to my grandparent’s house. To explain, we go back to the year 1913. In that year people drove “motor vehicles” on roads meant for horse and buggies with little or no instruction and zero regulation.
This led to an alarming number of accidents.
I can’t imagine why, can you? In the small town of Palmer, which is on the main route from Boston to Springfield, there was no hospital. The nearest was in Springfield, a distance of thirty miles. Thus most of the accidents were ultimately fatal. The newspapers highlighted the need for a hospital and a local philanthropist by the name of Mrs. Emeline Wing stepped forward to donate her home to the cause and that is where I was born on this day many years ago. My grandmother was the head nurse and I was her first grandchild. Shortly after I was born the hospital moved to a more modern building on the outskirts of town. The house is no more. Now there’s a bank.
My parents were of the opinion that children only needed food, clothing and schooling. They didn’t need big, fancy birthday parties. However, for my sixteenth birthday they did take me to Trader Dick’s Kon Tiki Bar (across the street from the Sparks Nugget) and I had a virgin Mai Tai with a slice of pineapple and a miniature umbrella. I can’t remember what I ordered but it was probably a lot more exotic than pot roast (my mother’s speciality).
I’ve had a few “unforgettable for all the wrong reasons” birthdays. One year we attempted to drive from Aspen to Reno in one day which would have been possible if the weather had cooperated. By the time we got to Wendover Nevada we could go no further. We had to stop. Wendover is where your car breaks down after crossing the Bonneville Salt Flats and Wendover is where the Mormons go to gamble, drink and hang out at strip clubs, particularly on Memorial Day weekend. We had difficulty finding a room. We couldn’t get a seat in any of the casino restaurants. Dinner was buck fifty tacos from a stand and drug store gin and tonic. We sat in our hotel room and watched tumbleweeds blow into the hotel pool as sand storms went about the business of destroying windshields.
On the television we could only get three channels: Fox news, Spanish soap operas, and a marathon of Undercover Boss, a reality show that attempts to prove bosses really care about their employees. The morning couldn’t come fast enough.
Today is supposed to be the hottest day of the week and so perhaps we’ll just stay home. Water the green beans and the garlic and read a good book. Ever have one of those birthdays you’d just assume forget?