I can see the need for usernames and passwords at financial institutions, but the other day I called Pampered Pet Ranch where we occasionally board our cat and was told to:
- Visit their website and agree to all their cookies, disclaimers, policies, guidelines, etc.
- Create an account with username, password, backup email, backup phone #, etc.
- Validate our human existence by solving a set of visual brainteasers designed for those people with an IQ of 200 or above. You had three chances before being declared a bot.
- Provide vet’s name, address, email and last health report.
- Complete their extensive questionnaire:
- How many minutes a day does your pet require additional pampering (at $9.99 a minute)
- Does your pet have a pet name?
- How does your pet display anxiety?
- Complete request for boarding
- Day and time of drop off
- Day and time of pick up
- Food requirements
- Check back hourly for confirmation
In other words, they were no longer taking reservations over the phone.
This left me wondering, how many people actually called Pampered Pet Ranch and made reservations for other people’s pets? If the answer is thousands, hundreds, or even a dozen, this country is even sicker than I thought. More than likely they found that gathering necessary information this way was more reliable that depending on their young staff. Or the fickleness of their clientele. At least they know where to put the blame for flub ups!
Pampered Pet Ranch is not the only website requiring one of the hundreds of username/ password combos that clutter my little black book. I have usernames and passwords for:
- Hotel chains I have visited once
- Saline nasal pods for a machine that hasn’t worked for years
- The toilet paper people who became so busy during the pandemic that they were always out
- Our medical provider, Kaiser Permanente which provides preventative care for seniors provided those seniors can figure out their complicated and constantly “updated” online system.
I think it’s unfair to expect aging baby boomers to keep up with technology. After all, we were the first people to own personal computers back when knowledge of a computer language was necessary to run the damn things. You couldn’t just bark orders at a Compaq or wave a magic finger over the screen.
I can still remember the secretaries in our office who vowed to never ever switch from their beloved typewriters to a computer! Never ever and indeed, it did take a while for many of them to change their minds.
I can also remember the day the internet captured my mother-in-law’s favorite granddaughter. It was my fault really. Bernita was staying with us when she heard from her other son that “darling Lena” had won a statewide award and that the ceremony had been broadcast over something called “the internet.” I found the site and showed her the ceremony on my computer screen. There was Lena, climbing the stairs to the stage and accepting her award. Huge smiles on her face. Applause all around.
Bernita turned to me in horror. “Oh my Lord. They’ve captured Lena! How horrible!” She began to quiver. “My darling Lena!”
“No Bernita, She won the grand prize in the state science fair and they put the ceremony on the web. That’s what I’m showing you. She’s fine.”
“She’s caught in the web?” By this time she was in full panic. “Turn that thing off! Make it stop stealing children!” She bolted from my tiny office and vowed never to enter that unholy chamber again.
It’s a good thing she never had to do a video conference with her doctor!
Yup … if there are passwords in heaven, I’m checking out that other place!
BTW – because of some oddness between Word and WordPress, I had to use the old Ctrl V (copy) Ctrl P (paste) commands to create this post. Commands I learned over thirty years ago. So much for progress. We’re going backwards in more ways that we can count.
Saying nothing in particular 
I absolutely dread having to set up accounts everywhere to do simple things. It also makes me a little suspicious that there are ulterior motives. I don’t like that about myself–I’m turning into a grumpy old lady.
It’s easy to be grumpy when you log on somewhere and fit out that because you haven’t logged on in a few months, you have to go through the whole process again! I guess these days they have to, but still!
Good grief! That’s ridiculous, but I can’t say I’m surprised… I had to set up a Samsung account just to watch our new tv.
But $9.99 a minute to pet your cat? Heck, I’ll do it for $3.
😉
I was exaggerating – I actually love the place we take Kitty – it’s close to our house and in a beautiful setting. But there are some “entitled” people in our area who have taken advantage of the owner’s laid back nature …
you really jihjlight the humor in things – and laughing at so many little tidbits.- and likely how having this much info entered by you does help with 15 year olds checking people in – and with Benrita’s response and your tweet to kaiser – whew –
oh and great cat photos here – sure is a purrrrdy cat
Thanks! I’m get real irritated with companies that have you set up an account so you can gain “bonus points” and when you try to use those points, suddenly poof! They don’t exist or they have lost all record of you. Definitely smell a rat with those places. Bernita was in her eighties and all this new technology frightened her.
If there are passwords the folk who created the algos and cryptography all work in the fiery basement below.
Of course, down below they use bio signatures, that is, DNA drawn from drawn blood, buckets of it.
Cyber security is a not a job for the thin skinned that’s for sure. I hate that it has become such an invasive part of living.
So far, hooking up TFA to my phone or laptop’s fingerprint scan has worked out. Invasive too? Yeah. But Russian,Chinese,NK hackers are actively hunting us, so, there’s that
This was a fun rant, Jan, and one I and many others can fully relate to. I liked the Bernita story and I had a roaring guffaw at the Kaiser pelvic exam story.
Thanks Jet. Asking people to tweet their experiences while in an exam room was definitely a questionable idea!
Jan,
This is an hilarious post.
Whew..mug shots of your kitty, info highway prisoners, keyboard commands, passwords; this post has it all! (except DOS) NO don’t bring back DOS!
Your kitty is beautiful!
It’s crazy. We still have a couple of places we can call, but most of them are going automated. Software is so cheap now that a lot of businesses are going that route to reduce staff and facilitate bookkeeping, at least that’s my guess. The massage place I visit has just one person, so scheduling is done through the website.
Is that you in the picture? Pretty cool, and a throwback with that huge computer I remember so well.
Yup – that was me many years ago! People can be so fussy about their pets that I can see why they’ve gone to an online system. For a old, fat cat is seems a little unnecessary but not for someone’s thousand dollar pedigreed poodle! Kaiser really should do a better job with their online systems – I’m just glad my health is fairly good. Knock on wood.
Awesome! You’re right about that. Some people are fussy about their pets. We found a new grooming place for our dog, cash only, and they do an amazing job.
Hilarious. I soo agree. (And I started computers 53 years ago, and still work with them.)
Restaurants ask you for usernames and double authentication.
My bank is already asking double authentication. On my phone.
My wife is a retired teacher and researcher at the university. They have started double authentication. Universities? Oh, maybe is someone wants to publish in her name?
Now the next question is: when double authentication eventually fails, shall we have to buy a second phone for triple authentication?
Thanks for the laugh, Jan. Well needed these days…
PS. I have a Mac, so all is CTRL C (Copy) and CTRL V (Paste). Even in Word. I got out of Windows years ago…