Category Posts

Giant Turkey Caravan Headed For US Border

JT Twissel 4 Comments

Austin's avatarThe Return of the Modern Philosopher

Thanksgiving, turkeys, caravan, humor, Modern PhilosopherI don’t want to be a fear monger, Modern Philosophers, but I need to warn you that there is another huge caravan headed towards the U.S. border.

This one, however, is heading north through Maine on its way to Canada.

And this caravan is not made up of migrants fleeing persecution, criminals fleeing prosecution, or terrorists looking to enter the country without detection.

In fact, there are no humans at all in this caravan.

It’s made up entirely of turkeys.

Thousands of them.

The caravan crossed into Maine yesterday, and is making a bee line for the border with Canada.  When asked about the parade of northbound turkeys, Maine Governor Paul LePage stated: “As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, I could care less.  My term is almost over, and I don’t need the headache.”

Maine State Police and the Maine Warden Service have been monitoring the caravan’s progress, and…

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In Flander’s Fields

JT Twissel 12 Comments

Today is the 11th day of the 11th month on which we celebrate the ending of the war to end all wars. I don’t think a lot of people really understand how that war (WWI) began. I certainly don’t.  Something about the assassination of an archduke. Today it honors all veterans from all those other wars that weren’t supposed to happen.

Armistice Day means red poppies. If you’re out and about you may run into a veteran selling them. This traditional started with a poem.

We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

McCrae was a Canadian doctor who, legend has it, wrote the poem from the back of an ambulance. Poppies leech the blood from battlefields and in the spring, cover the ground with a sea of red. A sight to see indeed, if not such a stark reminder.

My grandfather did not die in France; he returned to his family and lived a long life.The wounds he suffered were not visible to the naked eye. And he didn’t talk about them.

I’m actually quite mortified that a bit of rain has kept a president of the United States from attending ceremonies honoring the fallen of WWI.  It didn’t stop the troops from fighting and losing their lives. Shame on him. 

 

Voting from the Great Beyond

JT Twissel 18 Comments

I haven’t been posting lately because I’ve been trying to finish the latest incarnation of Flipka into which I’ve rolled a sequel. Will the sequel answer many reader questions? I don’t know.  Will it be less wacky than the first of which one reviewer wrote:

 

The wacky, utterly unbelievable plot is, however, merely the vehicle for JT Twissel to demonstrate her enviable skill set.

All I can say is, I tried. But how can I write “believable” plots set in a state that elects dead pimps to govern? By a landslide, I might add. 

 

Meet your new legislature Nevada!

Was the other candidate so terrible that the fine citizens of Pahrump are going dig up a corpse and send it to the Nevada legislature?

 

According to this tweet, Dennis Hof, who wrote The Art of the Pimp and was known as the Trump of Pahrump, is going to vote from the “great beyond.”

I know Republicans in Nevada got massacred tonight, but my man Dennis Hof crushed his opponent from the great beyond in AD-36 & we crushed the anti-brothel initiative in Lyon County by about 80%. So pardon me, but I’m celebrating.

Fictional whores celebrating their dead pimp’s glorious victory!

I know those tea party folks have a few wacky ideas, like believing that Donald Trump is the second coming of Jesus Christ, but do they really think the Nevada legislature is going to allow a ghost to vote?  And, how am I going to fit this twist into one of the unbelievable plots of which I am so enviably skilled?

 

Waiting at the End

JT Twissel 1 Comment

Duke Miller's avatartin hats

There are no heroes here, in the dark place, upon the black crust.  Walk you say.  Walk where you cannot walk.  Strive for the slope and hope to get above it all.  Fly to a safe clean vantage point, float in your mind, but you are stone, and there is no escape, no home, no warm bed and you have chosen this and there is nothing to be done but turn inward and make the best of a fucked up situation: be alone, be alive.  Deep into your body you grasp for cynical humor and bastardized love.  You stand upon the absurdity of how the world rips apart and causes great pain. All of this you feel as if you are in love with terror and you have dressed it in a kind of light that glows and shows you the way and so you begin to walk along the…

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Montreal, c’est si bon!

JT Twissel 43 Comments

When I was a vain young woman, light years ago, a man once said to me “you’re not the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen but there’s something about you.” I was, of course, hurt because I was too stupid to recognize a true compliment.

I feel that way about Montreal. There are cities with more impressive skylines, grandiose monuments, luxuriant gardens, and iconic bridges but there’s just something about Montreal.

Take its namesake, Mt. Royal. It’s not really a mountain; it’s a hill. But what a peaceful way to spend an afternoon, climbing to the top on a gently winding path.

Of course, when I was eighteen and hungry for adventure, I’d bounded to the top on a series of steep stairs and listened to the musician, song-writer whose beautiful face now smiles down upon the campus of McGill University.

After leaving Mt. Royal, we walked down to the river through Vieux Montreal. There, in honor of that great Quebecer and photographer extraordinaire, Norm Frampton, I found a door.

And here is the plaque outside the door.

Across from the bank is Notre Dame Basilica:

We didn’t go inside because there was a line and we had a cruise to catch. But I did manage to catch a shot of the side door.

Besides being known as the city of a hundred bells, Montreal is also famous for its assortment of “quirky” buildings.

Most were built for Expos, World Fairs and Olympics. I should have been paying more attention to the tour guide but I was drinking this lovely Canadian ale and getting a sunburn.  Seriously, a sunburn in early October in Montreal? This apartment complex, called Habitat 67, was designed by a young architect as a part of his master’s thesis. Joel thought it was a little too quirky for his tastes but that’s Montreal.  Perhaps not the most beautiful city but an original.

Who the hell cares?

JT Twissel 25 Comments

Apologies for my quietude.  I’ve fallen into one of those rare moments of clarity, one might say “my muse hath come my way,” and I have been trying to make use of each moment she deigns to stick around. But I had to weigh in on a current controversy.

In 1994, an American writer by the name of Ethan Canin published a short story collection titled after its most famous story, The Palace Thief.  In this story, Mr. Hundert is a classics instructor at an elite prep school outside of Washington DC who encounters a student (Sedgewick Bell) who has no ethics. Bell mocks Mr. Hundert and the other boys in the class who are there to learn.

When Mr. Hundert catches him cheating at their annual Mr. Julius Caesar Contest, he calls the boy out. Twenty-five years later Bell gets his chance at vindication when, as a candidate for Senate, he lures Mr. Hundert and his former classmates to a campaign fundraiser at his estate and convinces them to recreate the Mr. Julius Caesar Contest. Again Bell cheats and Mr. Hundert calls him out.  But not in front of Bell’s audience of wealthy campaign donors. Instead, he lectures him in private.

The book was made into a movie titled The Emperor’s Club.  It’s a very good movie, however in the book Mr. Hundret is a far more complicated character than Kevin Kline’s portrayal. His commitment to teaching and to ethics borders on prissiness and inflexibility. He’s accused of being detached from the “real” world and his dedication is unappreciated by his peers. So, when he realizes he’s devoted his entire adult life to creating honorable men and has failed miserably with a man who might one day be in a position of great power, he falls off the cliff and into an ocean of self-doubt.  Is he mourning the decline of ethics in the modern world or the futility of his own life?  It’s hard to tell.

I thought about the Emperor’s Club this week as the Senate moves to approve the nomination of someone like Bell to the Supreme Court.  I’m not saying that  Kavanaugh would be the first unethical prep school boy in a position of power,  but the alarm has been sounded. Are the words of writers and the efforts of movie makers in vain in this our new reality, the real world? As Bell says, who the hell cares?

A Plea from the Headwaters

JT Twissel 6 Comments

From the SF Chronicle today: “Our culture does not know the dream of the individual, the single person.  We have never lived with the dream of the self-made man.  We only know a world of symbiotic coexistence, one universe, and shared perpetual interconnectivity.  And that is what we wish to share, considering the destruction of the headwaters of the Amazon and the “aerial rivers” of vapor will affect both the residents of your Fisherman’s Wharf and our Sapara community of Naku.”

Read the whole article here:

https://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/openforum/article/We-come-from-Ecuador-to-say-we-must-stop-the-13219226.php?cmpid=gsa-sfgate-result

The Fruit Stand Guy

JT Twissel 14 Comments

This post was inspired by Dan Antion’s recollection of an event during which people were compelled by compassion to sacrifice for a stranger.  I thought I’d try to carry on the idea.

Not my gang but much the same.

I’ve known many people who’ve made great sacrifices of their time and energy to help others.  One couple, I’ve known longer than I care to admit, organized a monthly dinner for fifty to eighty seniors who were living barely above homelessness and it wasn’t one of those cafeteria-style soup kitchen deals.  This was a sit down meal with waiters (us), real silverware and china.  And we made everything from scratch: green salad, meatloaf, mashed potatoes (with gravy) and corn. We served each course separately and always ended with a generous piece of sheet cake topped with an inch of icing and those fancy little rosettes. Then we did the cleanup.  Although the seniors always thanked us profusely, it was the couple who organized the event, buying all the food and then distributing left-overs to homeless shelters, that deserved all the praise.  Although they no longer have the time for the senior dinners, they still manage to be the most generous folks I know. 

But what needs highlighting in these troubling times are those unexpected events that give a group of people the opportunity to go out of their comfort zone to help a someone they barely know. I have to admit, when I sat down with this theme in mind, my mind went blank.  I thought oh no, that can’t be right. Certainly those of us who’ve been around for a while should be able to recall many an instance of spontaneous compassion.

And then, luckily, this story came to mind.

My daughter lives in a beach town north of San Diego, which, for those of you outside of   the United States, is a city from which you can see Mexico.  It also has a large port and therefore a huge Naval presence. Whenever we visit, I always insist we stop at a tiny market along the coastal highway that sells produce and the best tortillas available in the States. They also have a variety of specialty foods used primarily in Mexican recipes, and, homemade fruit pies. The clerk is a young man who is slight of build but generous of smile.  The regulars address him by his first name.  Let’s say that name is Juan.

One morning a post appeared on Facebook, shared by my daughter, that Juan had been detained by the immigration officials.  Apparently he’d been pulled over while driving home and then arrested, not because he was here illegally but because his papers weren’t in order.   Then he was taken to a detention center for an unspecified amount of time. I don’t know who did it ⏤ the owner of the market or one of the regulars ⏤ but someone had created a GoFundMe to raise money for a lawyer for Juan.  So that evening, after talking it over with the hubs and determining an amount to contribute, I went to the GoFundMe site, credit card in hand. 

Guess what folks? I was too late.  They’d already raised almost fifteen thousand dollars.  More than enough for the lawyer and so the site had been closed.  After a week had passed, I heard that he’d been released but was too traumatized to return to work for awhile. Makes you afraid to imagine what all those detained children are going through. 

Anyway, that’s my story.  I hope I can remember more.  I really do.  How about you?  #TheBestinPeople is something to pass on and so I have.  Thanks Dan.

The Best in People – #1LinerWeds

JT Twissel 6 Comments

A poignant reminder of human compassion.

Dan Antion's avatarNo Facilities

I’ve had this subject kicking around in my drafts folder for years. As we enter the season of political ads, non-stop analysis and social media spew that seems designed to pit everyone against everyone else, I thought this little story might help. Also, given that the heat index in Connecticut is supposed to be 110°f (43°c) today, I think the setting and the photos will make us feel better.

This story starts on Halloween in 2011. A freak snow storm dropped a foot of heavy wet snow onto trees that had not yet lost most of their leaves. The devastation came quickly. By 7:00 pm, we had lost power. Not just our house, not just our street, the entire town and most of the region. We remained without power for ten days.

It wasn’t as bad as you might imagine, for several reasons:

The company I work for allowed us…

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What do your favorite movies say about you?

JT Twissel 51 Comments

I had an intriguing comment from Mr. Duke Miller on my last post.  He wrote that when he had to interview people he asked them for a joke and then the names of their three favorite movies.  His jokes would start with a man drinking in a bar and his top movies were: Old Yeller, Psycho, and Blue Velvet which he interpreted to mean he liked mezcal, soft cloth, hot showers and dogs.  I’m sure he probably does.  But who doesn’t?  So I thought if I were interviewing Duke what would my take away be? 

After struggling to ferret out the commonality between the three,  I decided his choice in movies meant he valued loyalty above all else. Here’s why.  Old Yeller is a dog who puts his life on the line to save his family,  Norman Bates is so devoted to his mother that he dresses up like her, and Jeffrey Beaumont simply must try to save a damsel in the most extreme distress.  All three protagonists are loyal.  Duke’ll probably inform me that I’m totally full of beans and so I decided what’s fair is fair and provided my three choices for his analysis. My picks were North by Northwest, Tender Mercies and Mr. Smith goes to Washington. Really doesn’t say much about me, does it?  In the first, a case of mistaken identity almost gets a man killed.  The second is a slow paced story of redemption and the third is about the filibuster to end all filibusters!  I have a thing, evidently, for hopeless causes. 

Just for fun. What do your three favorite movies say about you? 

By the way.  Duke didn’t offer me the job. And I’m not really a shrink although I do play one in a book (Flipka) so any analyses provided by me is not worth the time you might take to read it.   It’s just for fun on a hot Sunday when trying to avoid cleaning that dirty kitchen  floor.