Homicidal thoughts on a lovely Spring day

Ah spring.  Warm temperatures, gardens in bloom, nests filled with robin’s eggs . . .

Every day the chance to glory in the return of foliage to bare trees, seedlings popping through the moist soil, apple blossoms in the orchards and …

… poison ivy

Woe to those who do not see
your evil coven in the tree

Such a wicked curse
made by itching even worse.
cured not by the ablest nurse
Or any amount of purse
woe to who’er conjured thee
from my wrath you shall not flee.

My salvation, hopefully …

I wish I could say my homicidal instincts ended with poison ivy extermination but

Who invited these dudes to my yard?  And who gave them permission to pig out on my cyclamen?  I have asked them nicely to party elsewhere.  I have threatened to fatten them up and sell them to the French restaurant but no.  And so regretfully, slimy dudes, eat shit and die! 

But this spring, winter has arrived. Bloodsuckers have breached the walls of Castle Kitty and forced King Kitty into the crypt. He thinks he can escape the final, prolonged agony of itching but Bloodsuckers, well they can smell warm blood.  Duh. (apologies to Game of Thrones – which has become a soap opera don’t you think?)

Can you see him?  We couldn’t as the doors to the cabinet were almost shut.


Those of you who are pet owners have probably guessed who is after the cat.

Mister Flea who bears a stunning resemblance to Beetlejuice in both character and elusiveness.

And so this year, Die Mr. Flea!

It’s really not fair because the cat never goes outside and probably picked up the infestation during his last stay at the Kitty Motel.  It will be his last stay there.







15 thoughts on “Homicidal thoughts on a lovely Spring day

  1. I do my best to live and let live, but Poison Ivy is a gonner, as soon as it sprouts in our yard. I love your little poem about it, so, so true. Good luck with the battle(s).

  2. Yard pests are a bane to the weekend warriors! However, a few years back, we got 8′ of snow between February and March and I swore I’d never complain about those backyard bastards again. 😀

  3. Second blog post today with reference to GOT. I still have not watched it. Perhaps I shall.

    First post, however, dealing with blood sucking pests. Condolences from our four cats to yours. Loved the understatement of your final sentence.

    1. We always record GOT and that way can fast forward through all the gore and the melodrama. I probably watch on total about 15 minutes! I’ve had other dogs and cats and this one is the first to be completely traumatized by fleas. Understandably I’m not happy with Kitty Hotel as it is also an animal hospital so they should know better!

  4. YOU GO JAN!

    I am severely allergic to poison ivy — been hospitalized, even. Anyway, many years and two homes ago, I found a patch of it just outside the walkway to the back yard. I put on all my gear and sprayed Round Up all over, just drowned it. It worked. Never came back!

    For the slugs and snails, I put eggshells and Borax all around my hydrangeas and let them eat the rest. We have plenty otherwise, but not my hydrangeas!

    Fleas, back to chemicals. Time to treat the kitties, I’m afraid. Dog is treated all year.

  5. Oh, I do remember that song! Homicidal thoughts, indeed, but certainly understandable. I’d add ticks to that list. My husband read that it’s going to be a bad tick season this year (or already has started to be one.) When visiting my s-i-l in France, we take all sorts of clothing precautions because of those evil critters.


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