Has this ever happened to you? A long time friend announces out of the blue that she’s started going to church and then waits for your response.

“That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

“Really?”

“Why, yes really.” (What did she expect me to say?)

I’ve had this happen a couple of times and there doesn’t seem to be a good way to respond. Churches provide companionship and solace for a great many people. Churches can do a lot of good in their communities and throughout the world. If I found one that didn’t demand I accept all church doctrines, tenets and interpretations of the scriptures without question or debate then I’d probably join. If I found one that studied other belief systems with open hearts and minds, then I’d probably join.

I should point out that I’d met these ladies in the SF Bay Area where for decades we’d worked (and partied with) gay people, trans people, Muslims, Atheists, Jews, Hindus, Wiccans, Devil worshipers . . . You name it. Both of these women had been married and divorced, both had had affairs with married men (and men of color) and both had probably endured at least one abortion.

And then both women (for different reasons) had moved to towns in the inland valleys of California where, after about a year, they’d informed me they’d started going to church. I could have informed them that I’ve actually read and studied the Bible as well as volunteered countless hours etc. But that isn’t the point, is it? Believing in the concepts of Christianity and attempting to act on them shouldn’t be a competition.

And so I attempted to move on to other topics and when that hadn’t worked, and the conversation turned stale and humorless, I’d moved sadly on.